OK, I have made a decision to start blogging here as if it were an actual diary. Why?? Because I am overwhelmed with everyday work, as well as the added work I pile on myself with new sites, etc.. and when I sit down to write about any one particular thing that deals with the experiences I have had in my life with pepole and my own traveling, I simply go blank! I can not tell you how many times I have thought I would like to tell a story about this or that thing or person, only to sit here and go blank. Why this is, I have no clue, but from now on, I am just going to write random thought and stories, just like it was my personal journal or diary. Hopefully some or all of you will still find it interesting.
Today I am going to rant a little about my state of mind, and some of the reasons why I have been feeling down and depressed. Some of you already know that I am not well. I have 3 slipped discs in my back which make it virtually impossible to work a regular type of job anymore, and altho I would still jump at the chance to work again for a venue like the Floodzone, sadly there are really none here that actually need someone to work/run them the way I can. I wish like hell I had saved some of the money I had made throughout my carrer, because I would open a venue of my own in a heartbeat, but sadly, that will never happen.
Another reason for my depressed state of mind is people. Not all people, just some, like the people that I helped in some way or another, who claimed to be friends, and then turned on me, talking about me badly behind my back and generally making an ass out of themselves trying to take what little they had learned from me, and basically stealing ideas to call their own (You know who you are, don't you!)
I had built the MusicRVA site up for a year and it was doing great, but then I had the unfortunate mishap of running into someone from a long time ago, who was never really a friend but just an aquantance, but I treated her like a friend. I should have known better as all my real friends warned me, but she did have a bit of writing talent, so I bit the bullet until I simply could not deal with her lousy frienedship anymore. While that person was in my life, my site stats fell almost 50%, and I started hearing from club owners and other people I did not even know yet, that I was being bad mouthed by this "person".
Altho it was quite some time ago that this person has been removed from my life, the damage was done, and my attitude ever since has been less than exciting over continuing with having "writers" for that site. Don't get me wrong, there are many who have written for the site, and who are incredible writers and people, but only one was an incredibly huge mistake. It was definately my misfortune, after several years out of public view because of my health, that the first person I ran into and decided to trust upon trying to get out into a public world again was her, cause she is exactly the type of person you want to stay in your home and hide from, and it really sucks when there is someone like that in the world who makes you want to just cringe and hide. The only satisfaction there, is that because this person is who and what they are, they have lost most of the good friends they had that were worth having, so karmic justice does work if you wait long enough!!
As I said earlier, I keep piling more personal work on top of the work I Must do everyday. An example is the newest network for fashion and fashion games that I am in the process of building. I just can't help myself LOL!! I am addicted to creating sites on the internet, what can I say.
Well, as I said, I am "journaling" now, so I will continue later. Hopefully this way will work out better than the way I started this blog. If you guys have any questions or want to make any comments, feel free, I will try and answer them the best I can.
Peace!
MusicRVA.Com
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